diff --git a/commands.go b/commands.go
index 9b851da..0d9f6f8 100644
--- a/commands.go
+++ b/commands.go
@@ -654,7 +654,7 @@ func (handler *CommandHandler) CommandHelp(ce *CommandEvent) {
 		cmdPrefix + cmdSyncHelp,
 		cmdPrefix + cmdListHelp,
 		cmdPrefix + cmdOpenHelp,
-		//	cmdPrefix + cmdPMHelp,
+		cmdPrefix + cmdPMHelp,
 		//	cmdPrefix + cmdInviteLinkHelp,
 		//	cmdPrefix + cmdJoinHelp,
 		//	cmdPrefix + cmdCreateHelp,
@@ -762,21 +762,11 @@ func (handler *CommandHandler) CommandDeleteAllPortals(ce *CommandEvent) {
 	}()
 }
 
-const cmdListHelp = `list groups [page] [items per page] - Get a list of all contacts and groups.`
-
-//<contacts|groups> //TODO
+const cmdListHelp = `list <contacts|groups> [page] [items per page] - Get a list of all contacts and groups.`
 
 func formatContacts(contacts bool, input map[string]string) (result []string) {
 	for jid, contact := range input {
-		if strings.HasSuffix(jid, whatsappExt.NewUserSuffix) != contacts {
-			continue
-		}
-
-		if contacts {
-			result = append(result, fmt.Sprintf("* %s / %s - `%s`", contact, jid))
-		} else {
-			result = append(result, fmt.Sprintf("* %s - `%s`", contact, jid))
-		}
+		result = append(result, fmt.Sprintf("* %s - `%s`", contact, jid))
 	}
 	sort.Sort(sort.StringSlice(result))
 	return
@@ -886,44 +876,36 @@ func (handler *CommandHandler) CommandOpen(ce *CommandEvent) {
 	_, _ = portal.MainIntent().InviteUser(portal.MXID, &mautrix.ReqInviteUser{UserID: user.MXID})
 }
 
-const cmdPMHelp = `pm [--force] <_international phone number_> - Open a private chat with the given phone number.`
+const cmdPMHelp = `pm - To direct message someone already in a shared group start a direct chat with them in Matrix`
 
 func (handler *CommandHandler) CommandPM(ce *CommandEvent) {
-	// if len(ce.Args) == 0 {
-	// 	ce.Reply("**Usage:** `pm [--force] <international phone number>`")
-	// 	return
-	// }
+	ce.Reply(fmt.Sprintf("**DEPRECATED COMMAND:** `%s`", cmdPMHelp))
+	return
+	if len(ce.Args) == 0 {
+		ce.Reply(fmt.Sprintf("**DEPRECATED COMMAND:** `%s`", cmdPMHelp))
+		return
+	}
 
-	// force := ce.Args[0] == "--force"
-	// if force {
-	// 	ce.Args = ce.Args[1:]
-	// }
-
-	// user := ce.User
-
-	// number := strings.Join(ce.Args, "")
-	// if number[0] == '+' {
-	// 	number = number[1:]
-	// }
-	// for _, char := range number {
-	// 	if char < '0' || char > '9' {
-	// 		ce.Reply("Invalid phone number.")
-	// 		return
-	// 	}
-	// }
-	// jid := number + whatsappExt.NewUserSuffix
-
-	// handler.log.Debugln("Importing", jid, "for", user)
-
-	// contact, ok := user.Conn.Store.Contacts[jid]
-	// if !ok {
-	// 	if !force {
-	// 		ce.Reply("Phone number not found in contacts. Try syncing contacts with `sync` first. " +
-	// 			"To create a portal anyway, use `pm --force <number>`.")
-	// 		return
-	// 	}
-	// 	contact = whatsapp.Contact{Jid: jid}
-	// }
+	//	force := ce.Args[0] == "--force"
+	//	if force {
+	//		ce.Args = ce.Args[1:]
+	//	}
+	//
+	//	user := ce.User
+	//
+	//	jid := ce.Args[0]
+	//
+	//	handler.log.Debugln("Importing", jid, "for", user.MXID)
+	//
+	//	 contact, ok := user.Conn.Store.Contacts[jid]
+	//	 if !ok {
+	//	 	if !force {
+	//	 		ce.Reply("Phone number not found in contacts. Try syncing contacts with `sync` first. " +
+	//	 			"To create a portal anyway, use `pm --force <number>`.")
+	//	 		return
+	//	 	}
+	//	 	contact = whatsapp.Contact{Jid: jid}
+	//	 }
 	// puppet := user.bridge.GetPuppetByJID(contact.Jid)
 	// puppet.Sync(user, contact)
 	// portal := user.bridge.GetPortalByJID(database.NewPortalKey(contact.Jid, user.JID))
diff --git a/database/database.go b/database/database.go
index 26da8da..4555d6c 100644
--- a/database/database.go
+++ b/database/database.go
@@ -57,7 +57,7 @@ func New(dbType string, uri string, baseLog log.Logger) (*Database, error) {
 	}
 
 	gdb, err := gorm.Open(conn, &gorm.Config{
-		//Logger: logger.Default.LogMode(logger.Info),
+		//		Logger: logger.Default.LogMode(logger.Info),
 		// Logger: baseLog,
 
 		DisableForeignKeyConstraintWhenMigrating: true,
diff --git a/database/portal.go b/database/portal.go
index 28f9a7b..3beb5dd 100644
--- a/database/portal.go
+++ b/database/portal.go
@@ -24,6 +24,8 @@ import (
 	"github.com/karmanyaahm/matrix-groupme-go/types"
 )
 
+// JID is the puppet or the group
+// Receiver is the "Other Person" in a DM or the group itself in a group
 type PortalKey struct {
 	JID      types.GroupMeID `gorm:"primaryKey"`
 	Receiver types.GroupMeID `gorm:"primaryKey"`
@@ -50,6 +52,11 @@ func (key PortalKey) String() string {
 	return key.JID + "-" + key.Receiver
 }
 
+func (key PortalKey) IsPrivate() bool {
+	//also see FindPrivateChats
+	return key.JID != key.Receiver
+}
+
 type PortalQuery struct {
 	db  *Database
 	log log.Logger
@@ -82,8 +89,8 @@ func (pq *PortalQuery) GetAllByJID(jid types.GroupMeID) []*Portal {
 }
 
 func (pq *PortalQuery) FindPrivateChats(receiver types.GroupMeID) []*Portal {
-	print("aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa wrong portal stuff")
-	return pq.getAll(pq.db.DB.Where("receiver = ? AND jid LIKE '%@s.whatsapp.net'", receiver))
+	//also see IsPrivate
+	return pq.getAll(pq.db.DB.Where("receiver = ? AND receiver <> jid", receiver))
 
 }
 
diff --git a/database/user.go b/database/user.go
index 08e397c..8fdd95f 100644
--- a/database/user.go
+++ b/database/user.go
@@ -178,8 +178,8 @@ type UserPortal struct {
 
 func (user *User) SetPortalKeys(newKeys []PortalKeyWithMeta) error {
 	tx := user.db.Begin()
-	ans := tx.Where("user_jid = ?", *user.jidPtr()).Delete(&UserPortal{})
-	print("make sure all are deletede")
+	ans := tx.Where("user_jid = ?", *user.jidPtr()).Delete(UserPortal{})
+
 	if ans.Error != nil {
 		_ = tx.Rollback()
 		return ans.Error
diff --git a/groupmeExt/client.go b/groupmeExt/client.go
index 527493e..e3aab56 100644
--- a/groupmeExt/client.go
+++ b/groupmeExt/client.go
@@ -25,30 +25,61 @@ func (c Client) IndexAllGroups() ([]*groupme.Group, error) {
 	})
 }
 
-func (c Client) LoadMessagesAfter(groupID, lastMessageID string, lastMessageFromMe bool, num int) ([]*groupme.Message, error) {
-	//TODO: limit max 100
-	i, e := c.IndexMessages(context.TODO(), groupme.ID(groupID), &groupme.IndexMessagesQuery{
-		AfterID: groupme.ID(lastMessageID),
-		Limit:   num,
+func (c Client) IndexAllChats() ([]*groupme.Chat, error) {
+	return c.IndexChats(context.TODO(), &groupme.IndexChatsQuery{
+		PerPage: 100, //TODO?
 	})
-
-	if e != nil {
-		return nil, e
-	}
-	return i.Messages, nil
 }
 
-func (c Client) LoadMessagesBefore(groupID, lastMessageID string, num int) ([]*groupme.Message, error) {
-	//TODO: limit max 100
-	i, e := c.IndexMessages(context.TODO(), groupme.ID(groupID), &groupme.IndexMessagesQuery{
-		BeforeID: groupme.ID(lastMessageID),
-		Limit:    num,
-	})
-	//fmt.Println(groupID, lastMessageID, num, i.Count, e)
-	if e != nil {
-		return nil, e
+func (c Client) LoadMessagesAfter(groupID, lastMessageID string, lastMessageFromMe bool, private bool) ([]*groupme.Message, error) {
+	if private {
+		i, e := c.IndexDirectMessages(context.TODO(), groupID, &groupme.IndexDirectMessagesQuery{
+			SinceID: groupme.ID(lastMessageID),
+			//Limit:    num,
+		})
+		//fmt.Println(groupID, lastMessageID, num, i.Count, e)
+		if e != nil {
+			return nil, e
+		}
+		return i.Messages, nil
+	} else {
+		i, e := c.IndexMessages(context.TODO(), groupme.ID(groupID), &groupme.IndexMessagesQuery{
+			AfterID: groupme.ID(lastMessageID),
+			//20 for consistency with dms
+			Limit: 20,
+		})
+		//fmt.Println(groupID, lastMessageID, num, i.Count, e)
+		if e != nil {
+			return nil, e
+		}
+		return i.Messages, nil
+	}
+}
+
+func (c Client) LoadMessagesBefore(groupID, lastMessageID string, private bool) ([]*groupme.Message, error) {
+	if private {
+		i, e := c.IndexDirectMessages(context.TODO(), groupID, &groupme.IndexDirectMessagesQuery{
+			BeforeID: groupme.ID(lastMessageID),
+			//Limit:    num,
+		})
+		//fmt.Println(groupID, lastMessageID, num, i.Count, e)
+		if e != nil {
+			return nil, e
+		}
+		return i.Messages, nil
+	} else {
+		//TODO: limit max 100
+		i, e := c.IndexMessages(context.TODO(), groupme.ID(groupID), &groupme.IndexMessagesQuery{
+			BeforeID: groupme.ID(lastMessageID),
+			//20 for consistency with dms
+			Limit: 20,
+		})
+		//fmt.Println(groupID, lastMessageID, num, i.Count, e)
+		if e != nil {
+			return nil, e
+		}
+		return i.Messages, nil
 	}
-	return i.Messages, nil
 }
 
 func (c *Client) RemoveFromGroup(uid, groupID types.GroupMeID) error {
diff --git a/portal.go b/portal.go
index 8f2ea7f..efceb9e 100644
--- a/portal.go
+++ b/portal.go
@@ -186,7 +186,6 @@ type Portal struct {
 
 	messages chan PortalMessage
 
-	isPrivate   *bool
 	hasRelaybot *bool
 }
 
@@ -549,7 +548,12 @@ func (portal *Portal) Sync(user *User, group groupme.Group) {
 		portal.hasRelaybot = &yes
 	}
 
-	err := user.Conn.SubscribeToGroup(context.TODO(), group.ID, user.Token)
+	var err error
+	if portal.IsPrivateChat() {
+		err = user.Conn.SubscribeToUser(context.TODO(), groupme.ID(portal.Key.JID), user.Token)
+	} else {
+		err = user.Conn.SubscribeToGroup(context.TODO(), groupme.ID(portal.Key.JID), user.Token)
+	}
 	if err != nil {
 		portal.log.Errorln("Subscribing failed, live metadata updates won't work", err)
 	}
@@ -698,7 +702,7 @@ func (portal *Portal) BackfillHistory(user *User, lastMessageTime uint64) error
 	portal.log.Infoln("Backfilling history since", lastMessageID, "for", user.MXID)
 	for len(lastMessageID) > 0 {
 		portal.log.Debugln("Fetching 50 messages of history after", lastMessageID)
-		messages, err := user.Client.LoadMessagesAfter(portal.Key.JID, lastMessageID, lastMessageFromMe, 50)
+		messages, err := user.Client.LoadMessagesAfter(portal.Key.JID, lastMessageID, lastMessageFromMe, portal.IsPrivateChat())
 		if err != nil {
 			return err
 		}
@@ -799,12 +803,12 @@ func (portal *Portal) FillInitialHistory(user *User) error {
 	before := ""
 	chunkNum := 1
 	for n > 0 {
-		count := 50
+		count := 20
 		if n < count {
 			count = n
 		}
 		portal.log.Debugfln("Fetching chunk %d (%d messages / %d cap) before message %s", chunkNum, count, n, before)
-		chunk, err := user.Client.LoadMessagesBefore(portal.Key.JID, before, count)
+		chunk, err := user.Client.LoadMessagesBefore(portal.Key.JID, before, portal.IsPrivateChat())
 		if err != nil {
 			return err
 		}
@@ -1062,11 +1066,7 @@ func (portal *Portal) CreateMatrixRoom(user *User) error {
 }
 
 func (portal *Portal) IsPrivateChat() bool {
-	if portal.isPrivate == nil {
-		val := strings.HasSuffix(portal.Key.JID, whatsappExt.NewUserSuffix)
-		portal.isPrivate = &val
-	}
-	return *portal.isPrivate
+	return portal.Key.IsPrivate()
 }
 
 func (portal *Portal) HasRelaybot() bool {
diff --git a/user.go b/user.go
index 1486f3b..f41af4f 100644
--- a/user.go
+++ b/user.go
@@ -378,9 +378,15 @@ func (user *User) Login(ce *CommandEvent) {
 type Chat struct {
 	Portal          *Portal
 	LastMessageTime uint64
-	Group           groupme.Group
+	Group           *groupme.Group
+	DM              *groupme.Chat
 }
 
+////returns private chat assuming one of group or dm have been initialized properly
+//func (c Chat) IsPrivate() bool {
+//	return c.Group == nil
+//}
+
 type ChatList []Chat
 
 func (cl ChatList) Len() int {
@@ -536,44 +542,67 @@ func (user *User) HandleChatList() {
 	chatMap := make(map[string]groupme.Group)
 	chats, err := user.Client.IndexAllGroups()
 	if err != nil {
-		log.Fatal(err) //TODO: handle
+		user.log.Errorln("chat sync error", err) //TODO: handle
+		return
 	}
 	for _, chat := range chats {
 		chatMap[chat.ID.String()] = *chat
 	}
-	user.chatListReceived <- struct{}{}
-	user.log.Infoln("Chat list received")
 	user.GroupList = chatMap
-	go user.syncPortals(chatMap, false)
+
+	dmMap := make(map[string]groupme.Chat)
+	dms, err := user.Client.IndexAllChats()
+	if err != nil {
+		user.log.Errorln("chat sync error", err) //TODO: handle
+		return
+	}
+	for _, dm := range dms {
+		dmMap[dm.OtherUser.ID.String()] = *dm
+	}
+	user.ChatList = dmMap
+
+	user.log.Infoln("Chat list received")
+	user.chatListReceived <- struct{}{}
+	go user.syncPortals(false)
 }
 
-func (user *User) syncPortals(chatMap map[string]groupme.Group, createAll bool) {
-	if chatMap == nil {
-		//	chatMap = user.Conn.Store.Chats
-		log.Fatal("chatmap nil major oops")
-	}
+func (user *User) syncPortals(createAll bool) {
+
 	user.log.Infoln("Reading chat list")
 
-	chats := make(ChatList, 0, len(chatMap))
+	chats := make(ChatList, 0, len(user.GroupList)+len(user.ChatList))
 	existingKeys := user.GetInCommunityMap()
-	portalKeys := make([]database.PortalKeyWithMeta, 0, len(chatMap))
-	for _, chat := range chatMap {
-		portal := user.bridge.GetPortalByJID(database.GroupPortalKey(chat.ID.String()))
+	portalKeys := make([]database.PortalKeyWithMeta, 0, cap(chats))
+
+	for _, group := range user.GroupList {
+
+		portal := user.bridge.GetPortalByJID(database.GroupPortalKey(group.ID.String()))
 
 		chats = append(chats, Chat{
 			Portal:          portal,
-			LastMessageTime: uint64(chat.UpdatedAt.ToTime().Unix()),
-			Group:           chat,
+			LastMessageTime: uint64(group.UpdatedAt.ToTime().Unix()),
+			Group:           &group,
 		})
+	}
+	for _, dm := range user.ChatList {
+		portal := user.bridge.GetPortalByJID(database.NewPortalKey(dm.OtherUser.ID.String(), user.JID))
+		chats = append(chats, Chat{
+			Portal:          portal,
+			LastMessageTime: uint64(dm.UpdatedAt.ToTime().Unix()),
+			DM:              &dm,
+		})
+	}
+
+	for _, chat := range chats {
 		var inCommunity, ok bool
-		if inCommunity, ok = existingKeys[portal.Key]; !ok || !inCommunity {
-			inCommunity = user.addPortalToCommunity(portal)
-			if portal.IsPrivateChat() {
-				puppet := user.bridge.GetPuppetByJID(portal.Key.JID)
+		if inCommunity, ok = existingKeys[chat.Portal.Key]; !ok || !inCommunity {
+			inCommunity = user.addPortalToCommunity(chat.Portal)
+			if chat.Portal.IsPrivateChat() {
+				puppet := user.bridge.GetPuppetByJID(chat.Portal.Key.JID)
 				user.addPuppetToCommunity(puppet)
 			}
 		}
-		portalKeys = append(portalKeys, database.PortalKeyWithMeta{PortalKey: portal.Key, InCommunity: inCommunity})
+		portalKeys = append(portalKeys, database.PortalKeyWithMeta{PortalKey: chat.Portal.Key, InCommunity: inCommunity})
 	}
 	user.log.Infoln("Read chat list, updating user-portal mapping")
 
@@ -594,11 +623,11 @@ func (user *User) syncPortals(chatMap map[string]groupme.Group, createAll bool)
 		if chat.LastMessageTime+user.bridge.Config.Bridge.SyncChatMaxAge < now {
 			break
 		}
+		wg.Add(1)
 		go func(chat Chat) {
-			wg.Add(1)
 			create := (chat.LastMessageTime >= user.LastConnection && user.LastConnection > 0) || i < limit
 			if len(chat.Portal.MXID) > 0 || create || createAll {
-				chat.Portal.Sync(user, chat.Group)
+				chat.Portal.Sync(user, *chat.Group)
 				err := chat.Portal.BackfillHistory(user, chat.LastMessageTime)
 				if err != nil {
 					chat.Portal.log.Errorln("Error backfilling history:", err)